This is a popular question from women, and a popular search term on Google. I typed this exact phrase into Google and came up with several articles, blogs, and forums. We women seem to have a strong interest in learning about the opposite sex – What turns guys on? What turns them off? How do we get men to commit? The list goes on and on.
It’s only natural that when it comes to being in a long distance relationship, women want to know what men think. Given that I’m not a man, I contacted the man in my life and asked him for his thoughts. Here’s what he had to say:
Do guys believe in long distance relationship?
In general, I think they do, but they don't always want to be fully committed while they’re away, unfortunately. I've had some friends that had girlfriends while they were away, and cheated on them. But once they were back by their partner, they were faithful. Or another example is that guys will sometimes keep the other relationship on hold, and are only with the girl when they see them and in the meantime they are hanging out with other girls.
How does a girl know if a guy is committed or just playing games?
You can read my other post to get an answer to this question but if a man talks about having a future with you and tells you that he is committed then there is a good chance that he takes the relationship seriously. If he only looks for you when he’s in town and you don’t hear from him very often, then he’s probably playing games. A guy who looks for you often, goes out of his way to visit you, and makes plans for the future with you is probably serious.
As a man, what's the hardest thing about being in a long distance relationship?
Not being there physically to hold you and kiss you. Also, not being able to share great moments with you, for example when the moon is shining and I want to see it with you. Or when I want to go to the movies with you, but I can't (because there is no theater here on the island, hahaha, let's pretend there was one) because you're not here with me. For some guys I guess it is temptation. But if you really love someone, you always stay away from temptation, at all costs.
As a man, what convinced you to be in a long distance relationship?
Is not a question of being a man or a woman, it’s about the person you're with. If you really love the person than being apart from them temporarily is better than losing them for good. That's what convinced me to be in a long distance relationship. Also, that I know we have a future together and that this is not forever. If you don’t see a future with the person then it is hard to survive a long distance relationship.
Do guys have a harder time dealing with the distance than women do?
I'm not sure how to answer this question. I guess it depends on the personal character of the guy and the girl. Maybe for women it is more difficult, since they are sometimes more sensitive than men. But some men can be sensitive as well.
There we have it – a guy’s perspective on long distance relationships. Granted it’s only one guy’s perspective, but I have to say he’s a pretty smart and amazing guy so I hope his advice will help.
Leave a comment if you would like to ask us a question about your long distance relationship!
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Glad to have found your blog!
ReplyDeleteI've been in a LDR with a wonderful man for the past year. We're 8500 miles apart and have been very lucky to have never gone longer than 2 months without seeing eachother.
My one major frustration is that he is not very expressive with his emotions and telling me how he feels. His actions have always spoke louder than words - spending $1500 a pop to come see me, taking the time to visit for as long as a month, being affectionate when we are together, and so on.....but when we are apart, although we talk or send messages daily, the conversations are much more "best-friends" like...he'll only tell me he misses me when I say it first, does not tell me he's thinking of me or talk about any of the emotions that I know I feel on a daily basis. I've realized that he just feels uncomfortable talking that way - he's definitely a man's man. But I really need to hear some of those things occasionally for reassurance during our time apart. I've definitely hinted that to him and I know he realizes it but I think it's just unnatural to him.
I don't want to sound needy or emotional but it's definitely affecting me big time right now!! Any thoughts on how I should cope or try to get through to him?
Am totally with you on these emotions, my partner has been going back and forth for over 3 1/2 years to work abroad, and men just find it 'easier' to not express their feelings, 1) They need to feel the masculine Cave man in them still 2) They are focussing on the job they have to do as my partner says it keeps him from coming home every time 3) They are staying strong for us.... Those are my thoughts, and I am so glad I've found this site to realise I am not alone and feel at last my emotions are normal!!! Thanks :-)
ReplyDeleteI am going thru similar things right now. I just told him that I need to hear his thoughts/emotions expressed more and he has already started to change, which is a good sign. I think if he really likes you, he'll do his best to modify his communication style!
ReplyDeleteIm a little confused with the guy im with its been 3 months since weve started talking... im not sure if he just has a problem with the word "girlfriend" but hes never called me his girlfriend BUT he claims me he calls me his girl and his babe hes very posessive over me he told his mom about me.
ReplyDeleteWeve met once on the first of june for the weekend. im going up there in july and hes coming down in august for a week (i live in texas he lives in arkansas) so weve made plans to see each other. We talk everyday somehow weather its by txt or on the phone we skype when we can since we are both in school its difficult but he makes an effort...his last serious relationship was 2 years ago and it lasted 3 years (hes 23 im 19 turning 20)
i feel like we are together but the fact that he doesnt call me his gf kinda gets under my skin...ive asked him in person and he said "well is this not a relationship?" then i asked a month later thru txt and he said "i feel like you are though...its really only a title :/" which confused me more...
hello i can say long distance relationships do work if anyone wants too read our blog your more then welcome too thanks http://anneandtravis2535.blogspot.com/
ReplyDeleteHello! Do you regularly exploit online social communities?
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